21 June, 2010

Meanwhile, at the World Cup...

Oh, wow. Dear Leader Kim Jong Il's handpicked soccer team just got spanked by Portugal, losing 7-0.

So what are Dear Leader's likely responses to this?

1) To the rest of the world, blame the United States and South Korea.
2) Execute a few of the coaches and maybe send some of the others and their families to "re-education facilities" (read: slave labor camps), in order to teach them about the hazards of doing harm to the honor of North Korea and Kim Jong Il.
3) Tell the North Korean people that the team actually won, that they were heading home early from the World Cup as victors, and to make them guests of honor at a brand new Arirang performance composed to honor them and the glorious leadership of Kim Jong Il, in whose wisdom they were sent to South Africa in the first place.

Huh. Wonder how many members of that team will actually return home, or will they take the opportunity to disappear only to ask for political asylum a few days later. Though its rumored that many on the team are actually Chinese nationals under assumed Korean names, so chances are many will just go back home to China.

Anyway, Dear Leader is probably fuming about now.

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