05 October, 2011

My Counter-Demands to the Occupy Wall Street Clowns

 I've been seeing this list of "demands" that the Occupy Wall Street crowd have supposedly been circulating, and I just couldn't help but compile my own list of Counter-Demands.

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending “Freetrade” by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hour.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Abolish government subsidies to all industries, including Farm, Dairy, Auto, Green Energy, Oil, Coal, Transportation, the Arts, etc.  Freeze minimum wage to current levels, guaranteed for the next ten years.  Abolish any regulation that adds cost to American products.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Quit trying to micro-manage every decision made between doctor and patient.  Abolish health-care monopolies and allow companies to operate nationwide under uniform regulations and genuine competition.  Force unelected bureaucrats to be held just as liable to prosecution for their mistakes as private companies are.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

COUNTER-DEMAND: See Counter-Demand #1.

Demand four: Free college education.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Your Art History and Philosophy degree ain’t worth jack shit in the market place.  You knew it when you wasted $100,000 in college loans to get it, so quit whining that you can’t find a job with it now that you have it.  Pay your goddamn bill.  If you have to, go back to school and learn another trade to make a living at, like driving a truck.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Quit trying to repeal the Laws of Thermodynamics, and Drill, Baby, Drill.  Also: Mine, Baby, Mine.  Late Breaking News: The Universe doesn’t give a shit what we do to our planet.  So far as its concerned, we’re a speck of insignificant dust not worth the dark energy binding us to the space-time continuum, so lets just use what’s available wherever its available.  Hint: There’s lots of easily accessible resources on the Moon and planets just waiting to be exploited.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.

COUNTER-DEMAND: One Trillion Dollars in budget cuts.  Immediately.  Bring spending to year 2000 levels, a mere eleven years ago.  We were doing pretty well covering all of our bases then, we can do so again.

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Open up ANWAR and the Gulf of Mexico to drilling, so long as they guarantee to only hire American citizens.  Build Keystone XL pipeline.  Build more nuclear power plants.  Use the power to open up desalinization plants to produce fresh water that can be used to reclaim arid deserts for farming.  BTW, you do realize that Rachel Maddow supposedly loooooooves Hoover Dam, don’t you?

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Force Occupy Wall Street morons to actually read the Constitution booklets Tea Partiers have been handing out, and point out that the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth, and Nineteenth amendments are still in effect.

Demand nine: Open borders migration. Anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Anyone can work and travel within the United States so long as they are an American citizen or a Registered Alien.  You do not need to be a member of a union in order to work in a particular industry.  Put a fence on the border, only allow those that wish to become American Citizens to enter for work in the country, and insist that they must renounce citizenship and allegiance in their previous country as condition of entry.  Establish preferences to those with college degrees or who can prove that they are financially stable.

Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Bring American elections up to international standards by demanding photographic ID, either drivers license or state-issued ID, to establish identity before voting.  Australia, Japan, Canada, and most of Europe already demand this, we should as well.

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the “Books.” World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the “Books.” And I don’t mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Pay your goddamn bill.  No one was putting a gun to your head while you ran up insurmountable debt on credit cards buying flat screen TVs, game systems, and mass-transportation systems that no one uses.  Quit electing politicians who buy votes by spending other people’s money.  Take responsibility for your own actions.

Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Pay your goddamn bill.  If you can’t, that’s what bankruptcy is for.  Accept the consequences of your actions instead of trying to fob it off on someone else.

Demand thirteen: Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Guaranteed secret ballot in all union elections.  Establish Right to Work laws in all states, so that those who choose not to join unions can work in their chosen professions without interference.

Demand fourteen: Government assumes ownership of all energy industries and resources, as well as the automotive and aerospace industries.  Immediately cease production of any vehicle that does not use clean energy to operate.

COUNTER-DEMAND: Government divests itself from all industries, including automotive, Amtrak, etc.  Immediate repeal of CAFÉ standards.

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Anything I should add?